Hi Reader,

You weren’t copied on the email. Your idea got a polite nod and nothing else. You presented and there wasn’t any feedback.

And within about ten minutes, you’d written a whole story. They’re sidelining you. They didn’t like the proposal. Something’s coming.

I’ve done this more times than I’d like to admit. Most capable people do. The same skill that makes you good at your job, spotting patterns early and anticipating risk, is the one that fills the gaps with the worst version.

Why your mind does this

A gap in information feels like danger. So your mind closes it, fast, with whatever explanation feels most protective. Usually that’s the most threatening one.

It isn’t weakness. It’s a smart system working without enough data.

The trouble is that you then act on the story. You go quiet in the next meeting. You over-prepare. You send a slightly defensive email. And sometimes, the story starts to come true because of how you responded to it.

The tool: two columns

Next time something lands badly, take two minutes and split it.

Facts: only what a camera would have recorded. “I wasn’t on the email.” “HR is on the invite.” “She said ‘interesting’ and moved on.”

Story: everything you’ve added. “They’re cutting me out.” “It’s bad news.” “She thought it was a weak idea.”

Then ask three questions of the story column.

What else could explain the facts? Write at least two other explanations. They don’t have to be likely. Just possible.

What would I need to know to be sure? Usually it’s one piece of information.

What’s the smallest way to find out? Often a single, light question. “I noticed I wasn’t on the update about X. Is that one I should be following?”

What usually happens

The facts column is almost always shorter than you expect. And the question you’re afraid to ask almost always gets an ordinary answer. The email was an oversight. She wanted to think about the idea before responding. They’re digesting the presentation - and need time through it.

And when the story does turn out to be true, you’re far better placed. You found out sooner, calmly, and you can respond to what’s real rather than what you imagined.

This week

Pick one thing from the past month that’s still sitting with you. Split it into facts and story. Then decide whether one light question would settle it.

The reframe

So the question I’d leave you with isn’t “what does this mean?”

It’s this:

What do you actually know, and what have you added?

Hit reply and tell me the story you’ve been telling yourself this week. I read every reply.

Melissa

What if the story you tell yourself is the one holding your next move back?

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